Here's how my day went down yesterday:
I woke up earlier than I needed to. Thanks, Mild internal clock.
I went to the local coffee shop where the woman in front of me was getting some MAJOR flirting going on with the barista. IT WAS 9AM. How can anyone be un-mild enough to flirt that early?! I just wanted my Non-Fat Mild Latte. Sigh.
Work was busy busy busy. I'll post a picture of my DESK GONE WILD later. It's a little too risque for 7am.
After work, I went to the gym in a t-shirt that actually said "I don't give a ____." I don't actually know if that's mild or not, but I can tell you that the new personal trainer I worked out with is MILDY FOXY and because I just assume he would never be attracted to me (Mild low self esteem), I am SUPER RELAXED around him, like we're old buddies. It's kind of like the first and only time I went to a male strip club and the very sexy "Alejandro from Guadalajara" (I am mildly skeptical either of those things were true) came up to me after gyrating on stage and said "Hey, IS YOUR FRIEND SEEING ANYONE?"--like we were longtime friends and all I could think was "Didn't I just put dollars down your pants!? Can't you at least to PRETEND to find me attractive for a few seconds." Sigh. Well, that's kind of the opposite scenario. A more truly accurate similar scenario would be in high school when I worked at an indie movie theater (of course) and this SUPER HOT guy always came to see movies alone and said he wanted to hang out SO I ASSUMED HE WAS GAY and tried to set him up with a male co-worker. Lets just say he WASN'T GAY and we never spoke again. So anyway, I have a history of becoming eerily calm around men I think are too sexy for my Mild.
Then, in my gym clothes I went to hang out with my amazing friend, Katie. Katie is a crazy-talented artist, friend and well, ALL AROUND AWESOME PERSON. We both got REALLY INTO OUR MILDNESS and walked to a nearby bar IN OUR GYM CLOTHES. Well, to be fair, Katie was in her painting clothes--I WAS IN MY GYM CLOTHES. But anyway, if you can basically imagine two sweaty women in workout clothes (sweatpants and a "I don't give a ____" shirt) AT A BAR drinking whisky, then you pretty much know what a Girls Gone Mild NIGHT ON THE TOWN looks like.
Above is Katie in her mildly fantastic kitchen. She is making breakfast-for-dinner at 10pm and yes, that is Pope John Paul. Mildly amazing.