June 27, 2011

Mildly late for dinner.

Hi all you mild ones,

Sorry I've been so absent from these here blog pages.

Not really sure what happened. Perhaps something about my cat getting insanely ill and me having to completely put my life on hold to do things like SHOP FOR BABY FOOD (to see if she would eat it since she was on some sort of hunger strike) and LEARN FROM A MALE CAT-NURSE HOW TO GIVE HER A CAT I.V.

Lets just say that nothing screams mild like a CAT I.V. hanging somewhere in your apartment.

The poor little cat-dude has started to eat on her own. I on the other hand may need to take out a loan to ever buy food for myself again. It costs a lot of money to rock the mild cat lady style sometimes. Especially when your cat is like 100 years old.


Just to clarify in case you weren't sure, things have still be really really mild.

1. Text conversation this morning between a longtime bff and I:

How is dating life?

Let's just say I'm drinking day old iced coffee alone in bed waiting to see BAD TEACHER with a female friend. That's my current dating report.

I really wanna see that movie! Sometimes day old coffee alone in bed is better than any guy.

2. My friend, Lan and I shared a bloody mary and french fries today. "Hangover cure" it was called by the female bartender from Virginia. The thing is, I can mildly see myself ordering that on a not-hungover day...

3. Last night, I took this photo of my arm-candy, Jun (just posting that to see if he's reading this!) and my grad school bff, Patrick...You know, two adult men LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY OVER MARU CAT VIDEOS AT A BAR ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. Truly, MEN GONE MILD.

4. Speaking of men gone mild, all I wanted to do is listen to the Strokes today. I think I've got PMS GONE MILD and it's making me go CRAZY.

5. I can't believe how mild I am when I get drunk. Last night, I came home ALONE from a DJ gig and seriously proceeded to eat Taco Bell (please pass no judgement--it was late and we all make mistakes) and surf the internet. I can see in my history all these NERDY things I looked at which I now have vague memories of. GOOGLE GONE MILD. Also, now that I have a Smart Phone (OK, I have for like 5 years) I sometimes Wikipedia what's in drinks WHILE AT THE BAR. Bars Gone Mild.

6. I totally made an appointment for something called SOUND HEALING on Friday that involves Reiki. In case you weren't sure, I am sometimes NEW AGE GONE MILD.

7. Today on Facebook, someone's status simply proclaimed "Tater Tots!" to which I commented "WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE!" MMMild.

8. This might be the most mild email thread (I started OBVIOUSLY) in the history of the world:

Because obviously when the night reaches SINGLE GIRL 'O CLOCK, it's customary to mass email your friends your DREAM WEDDING DRESS. No big deal, everyone. P-Mild-S.

9. If you live in L.A. then you probably know that the 405 is going to close for over TWO DAYS next month, thus coining my mildly new favorite term:


10. If you are really mild, you probably have done online dating. In which case, you know:


Seriously, people, CHECK OUT THAT BLOG. Hilarious.

11. If I was ever going to make a MEN OF MILD sexy calendar, I would definitely put Jason Segel on the cover. Just sayin.

12. I have such beyond mild fear of spiders that I can't even Google them because even seeing them ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN makes me scream.

13. I think a guy was trying to SEXT with me the other night and when he asked what I was doing (it was like midnight), I texted back "Watching Degrassi High". I COULDN'T LIE. I'm too mildlicious for him anyway.

14. This seems like the greatest mild invention since...well...the Snuggie. But my question is, do we have something like this in L.A. yet?! Mild minds need to be able to SLEEP ANYWHERE THEY WANT TO SLEEP. And lets face it, summertime makes it mildly too hot to nap in your car.

Until next time...

June 10, 2011

In case you were wondering how mild I looked when I DJ-ed...

You guys, my sun hat is SERIOUS BUSINESS. And I couldn't be bothered to try and look cute or sexy at 10am so I'm wearing a dirty plaid shirt and not just cheap, but FREE sunglasses that were like a promotion for some product.


And I've just been getting too many amazing GIRLS GONE MILD text messages from my girl friends so here are some true GGM gems:

1. "Waiting on my date as I text this. He better be as cute as his picture." AMAZING.

2. "I smell like Swiffer (Wet Jet). I'm going on my date." Yes, TIS THE SEASON TO BE DATING.

3. "RIP the guy who created Mad Libs." OMG MY FRIENDS ARE JUST BRINGING IT.

To be mildly continued.

June 8, 2011

Getting mild FAST.

Today, I woke up after having a dream about having to fly an airplane for the first time in two years. It was the only way I could fly home and I wasn't sure whether or not it was better to admit to the crew on board that I was scared and maybe needed their help or just try and "wing it" NO PUN INTENDED. What a mild reality check of a dream!

Then at work, I spent SEVEN HOURS working on one project. I thought it was impossible for something to become so last minute for me that it almost DOESN'T BECOME ANYTHING AT ALL, but it happened. Mild nervous breakdown trying to export corrupted files into movies, compress them for DVD burning and then burn. MILDLY THE WORST THING EVER. But it worked out IN THE END. After I spent 7 MILD HOURS doing only this one task.

I came home and excitedly went through my records for a DJ gig tonight. I can really dive into playing a lot of genres, but if there is one thing that I know like the back of my hand it's riot grrrl and 70s girl-punk and EVERYTHING MILDLY IN BETWEEN. So much fun. But I seriously had to take my TAKE-OUT (a $12 salad) and wear my floral jumpsuit that I wore to work TO MY PUNK ROCK DJ GIG. So Girls Gone Mild, you would not believe.

Here are some of my friends, post-mosh pit. I love that we are in our 30s and we can still do this. Well, actually I knew myself and I knew it was Tuesday night and I was in a dry-clean only outfit, so I mildly moshed internally from the sidelines.

On my drive home at midnight, I seriously treated myself to a giant bottle of SMART WATER. I mildly take care of myself.

Good night all you mild punk rockers!

June 6, 2011

Mild Darling.

Every once in a great while, comes a friend so amazing she is destined to be in the FRIEND HALL OF FAME.

Nikki Darling is one of those friends.

My bffs

Today is Nikki's mild 30-something-ish birthday. She is a beautiful human being, writer and thinker.


In keeping with this blog's theme, I thought I would quote some of Nikki's most Mild Moments.

scaring nikki

1. Nikki is the kind of friend not afraid to see Bridesmaids ALONE, blog about it, post a film still on your Facebook wall from it and then SEE IT AGAIN. And she even sent me this email after seeing it:

"I saw Bridesmaids last night. The only thing that would have made it better was you."

Nikki, I love you.

Nikki gets aggro on her cat.

2. Nikki, is also the kind of person who will respond to a cat photo you sent her with this:

"i just got back from the longest day of babysitting ever and my neighbor is using a power saw. I cannot. oh god. p.s. really, so cute!"


She can always see the purr at the end of the tunnel.

Nikki has no shame.

3. Nikki also has an amazing blog called LIVE FROM THE PENIS GALLERY that you should really check out. When Nikki is not busy being purely awesome just being well, NIKKI, she is a fierce feminist music critic who's words will light up your life.

Nikki hypothetical lesbian

4. Nikki is just EGGCELLENT. At her birthday brunch yesterday, it was so nice to be there with her and see her surrounded by her wonderful friends AND CATS.




June 5, 2011

My My Mild Return.

Mild announcement--> I am DJing at the following event this coming Tuesday:

Me in a one-piece jumpsuit because people, let me just tell you how excruciatingly MILD it is to be on a FIRST DATE with someone and have them waiting for you outside the movie theater bathroom while you try and maneuver out of this modern-day-chastity-belt. It took me like an hour to remove and hang my jacket, take off my jumper (what's up, 100 buttons!) and pull down my Spanx, I mean tights. Um...NOT COOL.

You know what else is mild? THIS blog:


Ladies and gentlemen, I just took a sleeping pill and here comes the mild night.


June 3, 2011

Mexican Fast Food Gone Mild.

Here is something I mildly miss about living in both Texas and Georgia.


Mildly delicious at both 9am and 2:30am.

Yours in mmmildness,

June 2, 2011

Mild moon intentions for June 2011.

For all my friends and family to know that I care about them deeply.

To figure out July, August, and September travel plans.

To spend more time with my intentions.

To keep better track of my dreams.

For Earl to stop meowing during the night so I can sleep 6-10 uninterrupted hours every night.

Yours in mild intention,

June 1, 2011

Un-dirty thirty.

One of my bestest friends since the 9th grade recently turned 30.

This is her grandmother, who is the opposite of mild--bearing witness to these amazing Mariachis she hired for Ash's special day.

I'm not saying Ash is mild or her party was mild, but lets hear it for wholesome thirtieth birthday parties where both your family and friends (from high school) are proudly in attendance.

Who am I kidding--that night I got drunk off of two Mojitos. I was the mild one.

Happy 30th, Ash!