Girls Gone Mild sometimes...

fall asleep at 9pm on a Friday night simply because the heater was turned on and it was so warm and toasty.

Tonight, I proclaimed I was like the opposite of heroin chic. I said "I wear soft vintage dresses and feel guilty if I don't wash my face before I go to bed."

Girlzzz gone mild.

--Cathy

I am sorry I didn't spend Valentine's Day with you.

I realize Mild Girls might have needed their Mild Leader (kidding) on such a dreaded day, but here's the deal: I WAS DEATHLY ILL from last Friday until well, I'm still not well today.

But I felt so bad Friday and Saturday, that even feeling kind of bad today feels ABSOLUTELY GREAT.

I will tell you how a Mild Girl spent Valentine's Day in the 30th year of her life:

Sober and PMS-ing while watching THREE episodes of THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS with a GAY MALE FRIEND after having spent all day sick in bed, watching and pondering DEXTER's feminism and then taking a break to buy cat food and have a 90-minute appointment WITH MY ASTROLOGER.

Yes, people. That is what I did on Valentine's Day. REAL SHOCKER I know.

So here's a belated Valentine to all of you--my Mild shopping list for tonight:

27lb of cat litter

Sleepytime Herbal Tea

Cosmo magazine.

HAPPY "THANK GOD IT'S OVER", DAY.

Mild in the streets!
--Cathy

Men Gone Mild.

Behold: my best friend's boyfriend with their $1,200 cat, Hugo.

Hugo just got sick and my friends weren't willing to let him go.



Men get mild too, y'all!

--Cathy

A mild list of mild things that happened in the last week.

1. I wore my sweater backwards all day, but no one noticed...not even me until I was on my way home from work.

2. I took two Tylenol PMs and slept so hard I SLEPT THROUGH MY ALARM THE NEXT MORNING. M-I-L-D.

3. I passed out with a gay male best friend in Palm Springs (um, do I need to say it--MILD!) while watching a show called "SHAKE IT UP" on the Disney Channel at like 3 in the morning on a Saturday night. I really knew how to kiss my 20s goodbye.

4. I keep looking at photos of myself in grad school WHICH WAS ONLY 2.5 YEARS AGO and think about how YOUNG I looked. Um...

5. I may have joined a coven. Just kidding. I THINK.

6. Has been too sleepy during 8pm dinners with friends TWICE THIS WEEK.

7. Had dreams about WORK MEETINGS...like actual deep sleep dreams. Whatever happened to wild fantasies?!

8. Cleaned my apartment and felt genuinely proud.

9. Downloaded photos of kittens and cats to send to someone having a bad day. (But then my computer froze and I never sent them.)

10. Stayed at a Motel 6 to save money and have pretty much not used my credit card since NOVEMBER.

IT DOESN'T GET MUCH MORE MILD THAN THIS!!!

--Cathy

What a mild girl can dream of for the next 30 days.

1. A romantic partner who wants to cook and clean for me AKA A HOUSE HUSBAND!

2. To continue being better at making eye contact. !

3. To continue getting along with all my co-workers.

4. To trust my instincts more.

5. To spend more time going over software I don't know (Photoshop, After Effects, Dreamweaver, etc.)

6. For my students to respect me.

7. To stop being so petty, catty, gossipy, etc.

8. More unconditional love please.

9. Mutual respect between crushes and I.

10. A lot more romance.

11. To continue believing in myself.

12. To lose some weight. Not because of the way I look, but because I need to be healthy.

13. To believe I am fun to be around.

14. To be more open to romance. I am such a hermit-bachelor sometimes.

15. Tons of people at my DJ night. !

16. To be taken seriously at work and in my personal life.

17. To tone my arms and legs. !

18. To continue have better boundaries, especially in my professional life.

19. To take care of my poor little car.

20. To meet more sexy AND interesting people.

21. For dudes in bands to respect me and not take me for granted. Um...

22. To listen to my friend, Rosie's advice more.

23. To appreciate the wonderful life I have.

24. To read more books.

25. To not be so nervous during public speaking.

26. To get the most out of therapy.

27. To not be so afraid of what other people think.



Happy New Moon in Aquarius everyone!
--Cathy de la Mild