July 10, 2011

Mild vacation, all I ever wanted...

Why hello there, you mild readers.

Let me cast a spell of a mild update on you all:

1. I have a crush on a certifiable MILD MAN. But I can't say much more than that. Trust me, he's a man gone mild.

2. I have decided that Avril Lavigne has officially come out as MILD. Case in point, check out these lyrics:

I was trying to figure out what makes her "wild" in that video and it's pretty mild: pink streak in hair ala Rachel McAdams (and we all know it doesn't get more mild than R-MC), the Victoria's Secret push-up bra (I mean, even my Mom wears those), stealing a Taxi cab and letting it have the trunk wide open (I mean, seriously--is that the best she can do?!)...I think by embracing her need to finally be mild, Avril has seriously showed the world just how mild she really is.

3. Just because:

4. Talk about mild in the best way possible. This record label called CICADELIC has re-issued a re-issue of 1960s Texas girl groups. It's mildly FANTASTIC. Here's a band of teenage sisters taking 60s rock the edge of mild and back again:

So sweet and rocking and I can't help but be excited that the YouTube comments are from some of the band members grandkids saying things like "That's my Grandma up there!" SO MILDLY AMAZING.

5. On Friday night, I was home by 11pm, drunk off of TWO glasses of Sangria and I actually looked up BREVITY in the Dictionary. No joke. GIRLS GONE MILD.

6. If you ever wondered what Girls Gone Mild ON VACATION looks like, you should look no further. Check out this new indie film by Zach Clark:

I think he must read my blog to be able to get inside the head of mild women so well. And if he doesn't, HE REALLY SHOULD.

7. If you were wondering what my new Facebook Profile pic looks like, here you go:

I mean, because nothing says mild like a creepy painting of a baby in a cowboy hat LICKING HIS LIPS. Not only has that painting been in every place I've lived since 2005, I just shot a film where I animated it. True mild love.

8. And just because you haven't seen a photo my elderly cat in awhile:

Have I told you the story about how the other night, I had a gentleman friend over and just as we had our first kiss, Earl (the elderly bane of my existence cat in the above picture) THREW UP as loudly as can be right next to us. Because nothing says mild-girl-romance like CAT BARF. Thanks, Earl.

9. Go here to read a truly inspirational blog post by Kathleen Hanna who talks about her milder than thou teenager years.

10. Oh, you wanna talk about mild? Last Sunday night at this time, I was ALONE watching a FIVE AND A HALF HOUR MOVIE. Uh huh. And by the second intermission, I found myself buying a hot dog only for the concession dude to pass me some relish to which I said:

No, thanks, I'm not that into relish.

To which he actually replied:


Yep, more mild than mild. I got dissed by a condiment.

11. One of the most mild Tumblr's I have ever seen:

Bored Life of Movies

Truly genius in it's mild scope.

12. One of my best female friends and I might have had chicken and waffles for breakfast this morning. Mildly DELICIOUS. I actually ordered an EXTRA biscuit and gravy, I was feeling that mmmild.

13. Have I already told you how much I mildly love this dating blog?


Also, am I going to reveal my true epitome of mildness if I admit to not knowing if women really still use the sponge anymore? Seriously, is that a REAL thing?!

14. You know what's mild?


15. Real excerpt from a gChat between a male friend and I:

me: Is it appropriate for me to ask so-and-so what his birthday is?

guy friend: why not

me: He's going to think I'm doing some sort of spell on him
but really

(I am mildly insane)

16. A mildly awesome female friend Picture-Messaged me a picture of this book with one of the most mildly awesome titles either of us has heard of in awhile:

Seriously, I'm going to start a book club called MILD MANIA and make that the first thing we read.

Have a nice mild Sunday night,


Quiet: I'm sleeping!