The September Issue OF MILD.

Well, I'm back.

I'm cat-less and in Texas. Actually, that's a lie. I've got my parent's 3 cats who have a total of 11 legs between them (I'll let you do the math) to keep me company.

Here's a mild update:

1. I couldn't afford to go to Europe, SO I'M VISITING MY PARENTS IN TEXAS INSTEAD. Mild.

2. I sometimes like to pretend I look like Emma Stone purely based on the fact that she is a (fake) REDHEAD. More mild.

3. Today, I ate somewhere called Henry's Puffy Tacos. a) I liked it. b) I almost bought a Henry's t-shirt. Mmmild.

4. Online dating. Still living it. Not sure if I love it. Am going to feel really embarrassed if I someday have to tell my kids I met their father on the internet. Will feel even more embarrassed if they are teddy bears instead of kids AND THERE IS NO FATHER. Mild.

5. I'm in Texas which means I have watched more "Law and Orders" in one day than most people watch in a year. I even started to develop a knee cramp from the position I was seated in. MILDLY PAINFUL.

6. I had a "ooh la la" romance dream about someone I only really know through my Flickr page. DOES IT GET MORE MILD THAN THAT?!

7. I am DJ-ing a wedding DATE-LESS this weekend. But it turns out I'll be sharing a hotel room with 2-3 other DATE-LESS women. What could be more...MILD? I just hope no one drops acid and things become a weird indie movie where someone dies or disappears.

8. My Mom's name is Anna and she is really proud that THIS song exists:

Mild Mom style.

9. My Dad, bless his heart tried to buy me a PT CRUISER. You guys, seriously. DADS GONE MILD 4-LIFE. (I stopped him.)

10. I have coined a new term: NANCY DREW. You can also use it as a verb. For example:

"I found this video of him on YouTube. I really Nancy Drew-ed the heck out of him."

It's basically a way to say you are a GIRL DETECTIVE...specifically on the internet...specifically over boys you like. SCARY/MILD.

11. I don't have any money to spend, but I really want to get a spa treatment in Texas BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS SO MUCH CHEAPER THAN IN L.A. I swear, sometimes it's like I'm trying to live my life like I'm in "UPTOWN GIRLS" or something. Um...MILD reference to a movie hopefully none of you have seen. (But in case you haven't, it involved Britney Murphy AND Dakota Fanning. Need I mildly say more?)

12. I have eaten so much bad but amazing food while home in Tejas. Some would call it obscene, I call it a FOOD TOUR. It is wrong to have two MMMILD's in this one entry? I'M ON VACATION!

13. One of my friend's called me yesterday to "get advice about the angels". Mildly NO COMMENT.

14. Real text message I sent to a friend last night:

"Do you know any bars in this town between your Mom's and my Mom's house?"

MILD TO THE EXTREME.

15. Someone took this photo of me DJ-ing and I can't help but notice: 1) I'M ALONE, 2) I'M DRINKING 3) I DON'T SEE ANY RECORDS ON THE TURNTABLES.

My name is Cathy and I'm a MILD-AHOLIC.

Keep on being mild in the free world,
Cathy