I am sorry I didn't spend Valentine's Day with you.

I realize Mild Girls might have needed their Mild Leader (kidding) on such a dreaded day, but here's the deal: I WAS DEATHLY ILL from last Friday until well, I'm still not well today.

But I felt so bad Friday and Saturday, that even feeling kind of bad today feels ABSOLUTELY GREAT.

I will tell you how a Mild Girl spent Valentine's Day in the 30th year of her life:

Sober and PMS-ing while watching THREE episodes of THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS with a GAY MALE FRIEND after having spent all day sick in bed, watching and pondering DEXTER's feminism and then taking a break to buy cat food and have a 90-minute appointment WITH MY ASTROLOGER.

Yes, people. That is what I did on Valentine's Day. REAL SHOCKER I know.

So here's a belated Valentine to all of you--my Mild shopping list for tonight:

27lb of cat litter

Sleepytime Herbal Tea

Cosmo magazine.

HAPPY "THANK GOD IT'S OVER", DAY.

Mild in the streets!
--Cathy