Did you hear the one about Sunday night?

Woke up ALONE and picked up a friend and we proceeded to get coffee at our local park's concession stand. Trust me, it makes sense if you live here. And wait, actually I got LEMONADE because I didn't want the caffeine to make me too "crazy".

We saw a celebrity drinking her coffee while paparazzi snapped her picture dozens of times and the thought actually crossed my mind to feign tripping in front of her so the pap's could either photograph her "helping local woman" or "rudely not helping local woman" but ultimately, I was too busy eating my "Snake Dog" to even walk her way.

Met up with another friend who asked me why my cat liked to sit on plates (I'm glad that this blog had already made a few waves) to watch indie-folk bands cover Nirvana's NEVERMIND. So mild you couldn't even handle it.





Afterwards, I dropped my friend's off and ATE ALONE at this little pizza place before HEADING TO A GARAGE SALE I was told was going to be MOSTLY BOOKS. Like MILDPALOOZA!

In one of the most MILD moments I've had in recent history, I purchased a DICTIONARY. How much more mild can you get?!

I raced home because my friend, Nikki (a strong arbiter of MILD) was coming over to drink tea and catch up. Uncaffineated tea because we can't be bothered to stay up. MILD TIMES, people.

After Nikki left, I ordered A SALAD which I picked up (thanks for the two forks, you wishful thinking cashier, but Earl doesn't have opposable thumbs) and ate while I drank tea and wrote LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION for my students all night. Karma for that one year I tried to apply for grad school at the last minute I suppose.

Seriously, this is what the end of my twenties looks like, people.

No wait, actually THIS is what the end of my twenties looks like. I bring you, Earl using me as a stepping stone/bridge/walkway:



Keep it mild, y'all.

xo